I had an interesting dream last night and after reflection in the morning I thought it would be an important one to tell.
The Dream:
In this dream I was at a women’s event of some sort, similar to a networking event. There was approximately 10 to 12 women attending and we had a guest speaker. I did not know much about this guest speaker, but when he asked for a volunteer, I am always up for a new experience so I jumped up and took the opportunity.
Standing up in front of the group, this guest speaker stood right in front of me, and as soon as he did I had the sensation that I shouldn’t be doing this!
He stood in front of me, he cupped his hands on either side of his genitals and moved his energy towards me. I remember thinking at the time that it was a very sexual move and it made me uncomfortable, although there was almost no movement involved.
I know that sounds kind of weird, but I’m just recalling my thoughts and my sensations at that time in my dream. As soon as I have that thought and felt that feeling I felt myself collapse. I was laying on the floor, in an obvious trance like state, I knew not to panic, I knew that this was part of the experience. I waited for the next step, which came as a shutter, and I curled up onto my left side into a fetal position and fell asleep.
The next thing I knew I woke up in this gentleman’s hotel room with no clothes on. My personal belongings had obviously been gone through. My wallet was missing too.
I went into this state of fear, and, just like those thoughts going through your mind right now, I too had the same thoughts. I too made all sorts of accusations out of being in fear, I would’ve been what I thought it was the time was humiliated, what I thought at the time of being disgraced.
All these things of what society might think: “Oh my god she went to that man’s hotel room after the event…. Oh my god she woke up with no clothes on…..” and all the obvious lines of questioning that follow such events.
I managed to gather my belongings, I got dressed, and when I asked him where my wallet was, he calmly said that he gave it to the girl at the front desk where the event was held in order to pay for the event space.
I was worried about what my husband would think about the line of questioning about where I was, etc. etc. etc.
When I finally got a hold of one of my friends who was also at the event I asked her why did you leave me? And she asked me back what are you talking about? It turns out that although in my subconscious I was sleeping my body was in fact present and active and participating in the entire event, although I had absolutely zero memory of that. I remember falling, and I remember waking up, and I remember nothing in between.
The Dream Breakdown:
Whenever I have dreams that invoke such emotion in me and that I remember so clearly the very next morning I always take the time to generally write about them in my own journal and reflect on what the symbols of the dream mean to me. I thought this one was especially interesting because I feel as though the lesson or the learnings in the stream are about so many people I know and not just myself. That is the reason I chose to share this particular dream.
The first thing about this dream is upon waking it created a real intense interest in me. I know dreams are never about what the actual dream is about, there about the symbols which are dreamed about. This is where it is important to have your own symbol dictionary. For those of you that do not know what is symbol dictionary is it is a set definition that you have when you see a very specific symbol.
For example, when I see a five pointed cowboy star I see a star that a teacher might put at the top of your exam, another person might see a star in the sky, another person might see a star on the door of a stars dressing room. You see three or four different understandings for the same symbol. I encourage you to start creating and defining your own symbol dictionary.
So breaking the stream down the first part that creates a real emotional staring at me is the fact that about an event with several other people that I enjoy spending time with.
The second thing that stands out for me is my willingness to jump up and volunteer, without necessarily knowing fully or fully understanding what would be involved.
The third thing that really stands out for me was when I fell I knew to trust. So for me that was very cool that I have that trust whether unconscious or not.
The fourth thing that really stands out for me was when I fell I had the shuttering the fact that I rolled over onto my left side in the fetal position and fell asleep. I thought that whole symbolism was very interesting.
The next thing that stands out for me was my disgust with myself and with my guest speaker upon waking up. And my automatic jumped to conclusion about what I thought happened in that hotel room, and my automatic jump to conclusion over the sense of “ how could my friends let this man take me“. When the reality is this section is more about me “stripping down” and being naked/vulnerable in front of those whos’ opinion I value.
And then of course the last thing is the fact that our guest speaker was a man.
The Dream Message:
It is my opinion that this whole dream has reiterated some thoughts that I’ve been having about the whole feminine equality, women in a man’s world discussion that is been happening for women for centuries.
It is my thought that women have really moved away from the Divine feminine aspects of who they are. The feminine aspects are thought of as a chore now, rather than the essence of who we are. In our new Socio Economic ways of being in many families a woman must work in order to manage and maintain the household finances. It is like many of us have put our Divine feminine side to sleep. On the rare occasion without Divine feminine does raise her head, instead of embracing her and allowing her to do what she does naturally, the reaction is rage, disgust and blame towards the male aspects of our societies for not allowing us or controlling us to behave in certain ways that is not natural to her being-ness.
When the truth is that we as women have picked ways of being in this world that don’t allow our own feminine expression to come through.
So as a result of this dream that I had last night I call on all women to start to add a sense of their feminine sensibilities to the work that they do.
We have been trying so hard, for so long:
-to work like men
-to be respected like men
-to be paid like men
…although this next statement goes against all aspects of my feminist side the fact of the matter is we are not men. So moving forward in this world we know what the rules are, so now it’s time to start breaking them.
I encourage you to work like men, but be sure to add a little bit of your feminine aspect. You will be rewarded for that, for the compassion, the creativity, the love that you show, and it will become highly valued, because men can’t do it.
I’m not saying that men can’t be loving men can’t be creative… All I’m saying is that men can’t do these things the same way women can, just like women can’t do some things the same way men. So trusting your Divine feminine, trusting who you are naturally, and when you’re striving so hard to stay within whatever frame of rules you’re living in in the moment I ask you to stop, take a breath, look around and ask yourself what part of me and my leaving out what I’m doing at the moment in order to follow some rules of society.
And then make sure that you add something that is divinely and specifically yours.